Wednesday 23 September 2015

THE BOTH OF ME



this is a a painting i did in 2012, It measures 22 x 30 inches on archival watercolour paper. I used many different media to paint this, acrylic, spray paint, acrylic ink, pastels, neocolours, graphite and charcoal. This was painted  outside whist i was artist in residence here.
'the both of me',  is about the different sides a person can have which are not often seen. Most of my work is concentrated around human emotions. When i painted this i was doing some soul searching,  i realised that i have a very caring side of me that is often taken advantage of, sometimes i think i care too much?....can you care too much?
My other side is a very frivolous side, where i come across as a happy go lucky person that doesn't really seem to give a shit about anything much.....
sometimes its all about finding a balance between the two.


the both of me

30 x 22 inches 

unframed on paper

£250

 unframed please message me for a price framed










Tuesday 22 September 2015

HOLDING ON TO OTHERS


HOLDING ON TO OTHERS

sometimes we just find it hard to let go!

13 x 16 inches on archival paper

£130
SOLD :) THANK YOU 

Saturday 19 September 2015

it goes deeper than that




it goes deeper than that
45 x 35 inches 
acrylic and mixed media on unstreatched canvas

£550

SOLD THANK YOU 



Saturday 12 September 2015

SELF WORTH

I have been feeling rather low of late, lost in fact, ready to give up, about to lose my home and all I own...then something  'clicked' inside my head, something a dear someone keeps telling me, until they put it into context I didn't really see...
I had lost my self worth.
I think it disappeared some 18 years ago when I had a mental breakdown, I never really found it again and entered into a mentally controlling marriage, then a two year violent and mentally abusive relationship which I think I'd still be in if the social services didn't help me. At the time I didn't really see things for how they were, I was too busy trying to be 'good enough'. Consequently in those types of relationships you will never ever be 'good enough' no matter how hard you try...what a sorry state to be in!
When my last abusive relationship ended 10 months ago, I found myself lost. I didn't know who I was. There was no one telling me I was wrong, I was no longer someone who was stupid, lazy, messy or scum, I was no longer not 'good enough' I didn't have to try to be 'good enough' I just had to be me, but I wasn't there.
Its taken a while to get used to not having to doubt everything I do or say, its taken time to build my confidence back up, there is still building to do, but the brickies are working fast! I am slowly finding who I am and my self worth.
Now about my 'self worth' in relationship to my career as an artist. I have been an artist all my life but a full time artist for over 15 years now. Finding that I no longer have to listen to someone telling me to get a 'proper' job, what paintings they think I should paint, or told to stop painting as I hadn't sold what I did, even a couple of so called male friends thought they had the right to tell me my art was crap and what they thought I should and should not paint (happy to say we are friends no longer!). I realise that my 'self worth' regarding my work had gone, I didn't think I was 'good enough' I didn't think I was a good artist, I compared my work to how I felt about myself...not worthy.
So, I am moving forward, I am finding my self worth, I am good enough.
I HAVE WORTH AS DO MY PAINTINGS
I AM WORTHY.

this is my favourite painting
NOT PERFECT
i think it speaks for itself :)